Morning drop-offs, tears with my dad, and chai with a friend

The morning can come at you quick - thankful for those who help me slow down...

I hope you enjoy this personal share and reflection.

I hope it reminds you to let your people hold you.

I pulled into the parking lot with tears streaming down my face.

I began to cry in a way that felt like I was overflowing- because I was.

I was breaking open and everything that I had been holding on to for the past several days, weeks even, was coming out and down my cheeks all at once.

I felt completely vulnerable, pitiful, and even relieved to just be letting it out.

But I also felt alone and I cried harder when I realized that I needed someone.

I cried harder when I realized that I just needed to call my Daddy, so - I did.

I cried hysterically as I poured my overwhelm out to my Dad over the phone.

I sniffed and did that little hiccup cry that little kids do when they have been crying hard.

I just told the truth without trying to mask like a big girl.

I cried and told my dad exactly what I needed at that moment.

I did not need him to fix what I was feeling, I just needed him to pray over me.

So, I asked for what I needed and he stopped whatever he was doing on the other end and he prayed for me asking God to wrap me in peace and comfort.

My breathing began to slow.

I took some deep breaths.

At one point I even put the phone on mute so that I could blow my nose.

I listened as my Dad comforted me and reassured me on the other end of the phone.

Then I told him that I had to go because my friend had just pulled up and we were getting ready to have our coffee shop meet up.

He said okay and we hung up the phone.

I grabbed my sunglasses and I grabbed my fanny pack - I hopped out the car meeting my friend in the parking lot with a hug.

She hugged me and said, “how are you?” –and without even thinking about it, I said I was good.

Then I asked her and she said, “eh, you know…” and her honesty called me to go back and edit my response.

Girl, you are not good. 47 seconds ago you were just sobbing in the car to your dad.

So, I edited myself. “The truth is I was just crying in the car.”

What happened next was a 2 hour long exchange between friends over chai lattes and a long walk around the lake.

Photo by Korie Cull on Unsplash

Two hours of telling the truth.

Sharing some laughs.

Sharing some tears.

Sharing some encouragement.

Some shifts in perspective.

Some healing.

What happened was two hours of healing that reminded me that it is okay to need somebody.

It is okay to sob and tell the truth when someone asks you how you are doing.

It’s okay to lean on your people and tell them what you need even if they do not have the ability to immediately fix what is going on.

Just like that, God gave the peace and comfort that my dad had just prayed for.

I was wrapped in the assurance that everything is okay - even when everything is not exactly okay, and that is okay.

That is why I will always advocate for being in community.

We need each other and we need to tell the truth when the right people ask.

Let them hold you too.

I pulled out of the parking lot with a smile on my face.

I began to feel joy in a way that made me feel like I was overflowing.

I had broken open and everything that I had been holding on to did not feel as heavy at the moment.